13
Apr
2010
Hill(arious) 13.04.10
Today was Christmas on Parliament Hill. They like to follow one holiday with another, Easter, then Joyeux Noel (if this job has taught me anything, it’s how extremely bilingual Government is).
It’s a big deal when Minister’s show up at meetings, and today, the Minister of Canadian Heritage and Official Languages graced the Heritage Committee with his presence for an hour.
“How come you’re only here for an hour?” asked the first Liberal MP allowed to speak, bitterly. Quite the welcome.
The reason for the meeting was a review of the “Main Estimates for 2010-11.” Basically, going over a document that states how the Government plans to preserve Canadian culture for the next two years. Personally, I think all the culture you need happens on Parliament Hill.
In sum, a bunch of pissed of Liberals, Bloc Quebecois and NDP members grilled the Minister about why he cut CBC funding (not true, the Minister claims they received record funding this year), what plans for future funding in 2012 (“I’m glad you’re looking past this year’s budget and already enthousiastic about next years but we’ll let you know when we get there”) and whether he’d override laws that ensure Canada’s ownership over it’s own companies to Big Wig foreigners if the deal was juicy enough (“I can’t answer hypotheticals”).
The Conservatives took their question time to volley high-balls the Minister could hit way out of field. It must have been a good day for the portly man, who had his pillow fluffed by his own party, sassed the opposition, and somehow, walked away with a gift.
The prize for most (Hill)arious MP goes to a feisty Bloc Quebecois woman, who started off her five minutes by saying she had brought the MP a present. Sure enough, while letting loose a rapid stream of French she started waving around a DVD by Fred Pellerin, a well-known Quebecois artist.
“I’ve already seen this DVD,” she said. “But I’m giving it to you. Except the artist himself really won’t get what he deserves in terms of Copyright. You’ll probably download it and not pay any royalties. I’ll still give it to you but think about this artist who will have royalties cut and stolen.” That doesn’t even make sense but bear with me for narrative purposes.
“Perhaps I should buy this DVD?” said the Minister, with awesome comedic timing.
Bloc spent the next five minutes stringing together non-sensical thoughts about her love of Pellerin, how she wants him to make royalities, and how the Government’s Digital Strategy is erratic. Is this woman hearing herself talk????? Before she had time to ask an actual question her time ran up.
It was quite the performance that lived on for the rest of the meeting. When the mic was passed to a Conservative member, he started off by staring down the opposition and slowly saying he really appreciated the minister’s presentation.
The Minister laughed and said, “He’s just saying that, because I promised him Carol’s gift.” Drumroll in da house? If anyone’s looking to launch their stand-up comedy career, Parliamentary Committee meetings are one hell of a platform.
Upon reflection, the most Hill(arious) MP without a doubt goes to our Minister of Canadian Culture (or should I say, of COMEDY). But special mention does go Ms. Bloc Quebecois. Every comic needs a solid heckler to get laughs.